


Things Missed

by Snacky



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post-Prince Caspian, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-21 00:42:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13729491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snacky/pseuds/Snacky
Summary: Susan sees her sister looking for glimpses of Narnia in this world and being disappointed each time, and Lucy’s disappointment is hard to bear.





	Things Missed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Merfilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/gifts).



> Originally posted on Tumblr for the prompt: _Narnia for Susan & Lucy, Things missed_ for Merfilly.

It’s after their second time in Narnia that Susan stops missing things. Oh, she misses Narnia still — she’ll miss it forever, no matter how much she tries to pretend to be sensible, no matter how much she tries to do as Aslan said, to live in the world she’s in — but the smaller things fade, all the little things that were so painful the first time they’d returned.

But for Lucy, it’s different. Maybe it’s because, unlike Susan, Lucy is not too old for Narnia. Aslan didn’t promise that Lucy and Edmund would return, but he didn’t rule it out, not like he did for Susan and Peter. Lucy doesn’t long it for it, not in the same way that Susan once did. Lucy is different — Lucy has faith. Faith in Aslan, faith that she’ll see Narnia again, faith that she will always be Queen Lucy the Valiant, no matter what world she’s in.

Susan wishes she wasn’t too old for Narnia. Susan wishes they had never left the first time. Susan wishes sometimes that she could swap some of her practicality for Lucy’s faith — she thinks that might serve both of them better.

They don’t get to spend much time together at school — different classes, different friends, different schedules — but Susan makes sure to keep an eye on her little sister, no matter what. Lucy seems to be adjusting well to school. She’s well-liked amongst the younger girls, and if she’s a little too independent, a little too out-spoken, well… it’s only Susan that can see the Queen in her sister, where others see a fair-minded, high-spirited little girl. 

But Susan can see other things as well: Lucy trailing behind the other girls when they walk across the yard, stopping to lay her hand against the trunk of a tree as she gazes up into the branches; Lucy crouching low and whispering to the cats that live in the stables, looking almost hopeful they’ll whisper back; Lucy gazing at the school supper with disdain, no doubt remembering the feasts laid before them at Cair Paravel.

These are the things that have faded for Susan, the things she’s learned to let go of, so that she can move past them, and find things in this world to enjoy. But Lucy hasn’t had that lesson yet. Maybe it’s one, with her faith, that she will never have to learn.

Still, she sees her sister looking for glimpses of Narnia in this world, and being disappointed each time, and Lucy’s disappointment is hard to bear.

So one night, after midnight, Susan creeps into the younger girls’ dormitory, and shakes her sister by the shoulder.

Lucy comes awake quickly, taking in Susan standing there, with her finger to her lips and Lucy’s robe and slippers in her hand. She doesn’t scream or burst into giggles or anything so childish — it’s Queen Lucy the Valiant who wakes from sleep, ready for any adventure.

The one Susan has for her is not quite as wild as the many they had in Narnia, but Lucy is silent and eager, donning her robe and slippers, and following where Susan leads.

Which is out of the dormitory and down the hall, creeping quietly through the sleeping school, until they reach a door that leads to the bell tower. Lucy pauses when Susan turns the handle.

“Girls aren’t allowed up there,” she whispers, a hint of doubt in her voice.

Susan grins. “Psssh. We’re queens, and we’re allowed wherever we’d like to go.” Technically this isn’t true any longer, but the smile that lights Lucy’s face tells her it’s exactly what her sister needed to hear.

The staircase is dim, and lit only by the light coming in from the top of the tower, but Susan and Lucy have both made more difficult climbs, in less light, and it only takes a few moments before they’ve reached the top. 

“Ooooh….” Lucy’s eyes are wide as she takes in the view from the tower. The bell hangs in the center, silent now but deafening if it were to come to life, and all around it are openings, window frames with no windows, that look out over the school grounds and across the surrounding countryside. Lucy goes to one, leaning out and peering at the woods behind the grounds. “We’re so high up, Susan! We can see forever.”

“Isn’t it nice?” Susan asks, leaning on the frame next to Lucy. “You can see the brook down that way. It… it reminds me of Narnia here. Of Cair Paravel. Of being up so high and being able to see so far.” She had climbed the tower on her own after their first return when she was feeling utterly homesick for a home she couldn’t get back to. The bell tower was nothing like the towers of Cair Paravel, not really, and yet…

“It’s just like that,” Lucy agrees, eyes shining. “Not the same, but it feels right. It feels like a place we should be.”

Susan nods — she knows what Lucy means, although the place they should be is far away, and she knows she’ll never see it again. She has tried to put little reminders away, to keep the pain at bay, but the smile on her sister’s face is worth a little pain, she thinks, as she reaches out and squeezes Lucy’s hand. “Just where we should be.”


End file.
